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Finding Community in Bergen: The Story Behind Bergen's New Girls Club

When you move to a new country like Norway, you don’t just learn a new language, you learn a new social code. In Bergen, many newcomers discover that making friends can take longer than expected.
Foto: Sebastian Pihl
Foto: Sebastian Pihl
Dahlia Jean Girvin-Smith (left) and Lisette Saldivar have started an international social group for women in Bergen to counter "The Norwegian Social Wall". Photo: Sebastian Pihl

That was the experience of Lisette Saldivar (29) and Dahlia Jean Girvin-Smith (23) which inspired starting Bergen’s new girls club, Søta Social.

The two Americans, who have over 90,000 followers on Instagram and roughly 100,000 on TikTok between them, decided to stop waiting for the community to find them and started building it themselves. On a rare sunny day in Bergen, I sat down with the two to talk about loneliness, belonging, and their new social club for women.

The Norwegian social wall

For internationals, arriving in Norway brings a specific kind of loneliness. It is not that Norwegians are unfriendly, they simply show respect by not intruding.

– It is more like, you do you and we are going to leave you alone, Lisette says. 

She points out that Norwegian social norms are different from how it is in the United States.

– Where I come from, if you see a stranger you say, where are you from? There is almost an instant conversation. Here, that is not really common unless you are already at a social event, but for that, you need friends first.

Dahlia felt it acutely when she joined a local soccer team in the hopes of making friends. 

Photo: Sebastian Pihl

– Instead of someone introducing me, I was just thrown in. No one spoke to me, everything was in Norwegian, no one translated. It was overwhelming. 

The two bonded over exactly this experience, and on a hike together they asked themselves: why is there nothing for women who want to meet each other? So they built it.

Why community matters

For Dahlia, the importance of community became apparent in 2017, when the Tubbs fires destroyed her California town right before Thanksgiving. "Everyone opened up their homes for fire victims. 

We hosted a family we had never met and it was the most memorable Thanksgiving I have ever had. 

Foto: Sebastian Pihl

– Without community, we are nothing. It is what holds you together through the difficult times, Lisette puts it simply. 

– It is the anchor.

That belief is the foundation Søta Social is built on. Their first event in January drew over 70 women of all ages, backgrounds, and interests. The venue was packed, the windows fogged up, and Lisette reported the bar recorded a 148 percent increase in drink sales due to the sold-out event. 

– We thought maybe 20 people would show, we had no idea it would be so popular, Dahlia laughs.

What happened after the event mattered just as much. The following week a group of ten women ended up at a coffee shop together, some of whom had only just met at the first event. They are now planning a cabin trip.

Foto: Sebastian Pihl

– I felt like a fly on the wall, Lisette says. 

– This is already bigger than us.

Søta Social's Galentine's events completely sold out: a jewellery-making evening at SMYKBAR on the and a ceramics painting session with Paint Meets Beats.

What is coming up 

In Spring, the founders hope to plan a large outdoor picnic, volleyball, sun and ice bathing, craft nights, and going-out events. Their more long-term goals are to plan trips (possibly international) for girls. 

– I want people to feel a sense of belonging. That is the most important thing, everything else grows from that, Dahlia says.To join, follow Søta Social on Instagram or TikTok, or if you want to join their community, they have a girls group chat on Whatsapp where there are casual meetups such as study sessions, volunteering, book clubs, and more.

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